Calista Valentine's All Mine!

This beauty's hawter than a pit full of Bhut Jolokia chillies inside a volcano en route to the heart of the Sun! She's like a smoking fiery flaming ball of gorgeousness headed straight to my bedroom!

If you’ve looked at a tortoise before and though, ewww, the freaks! Well you’re a freak, because tortoises are just like me and you. They like humping, they have shells on their backs and they have heads. Case closed.

A thousand-frame-per-second camera captures amazing footage of people spraying snot everywhere. Imagine what will happen when the porn industry finds out about this.

We all hate them, you walk out at lunch time to get yourself a shitty tuna baguette from Pret and before you get to the door you’re pounced on by a charity mugger. Ugh!

People going into a beauty shop to get their hair done are the perfect prey to subject to a few scares. Innocently sitting there looking in the mirror, they get a fright when they see a ghostly apparition appear.

Some impressive mountain biking shenanigans as filmed from their remote helicopter using a Canon 550d. It makes for some very watchable footage though it would have been even better if someone crashed into the 'copter.

These fans nearly get their heads taken off, but no one is ever going to believe this happened to them: "You mean you went to a car race where everything was covered in mud?"

Fun.’s “We Are Young” caught the minds of some people, but those lyrics don’t resonate for the oldies whose years are beyond 30. To fix this singer-songwriters Tommy Fields and Nikki Boyer created this version.

Now this should NEVER be attempted on someone with a loaded gun, actually, OR by your spouse! As a hunter cleans his gun, his wife creeps up behind him with a balloon and gives him the scare of his life

It's a sunny day & what could be better than cruising around on your motorcycle.....WRONG! You forgot about the old lady behind you driving a big-ass Scion intent on delivering the wrath of god in your direction!

He just ate a full serving of dirt and washed it down with a big gulp of river. I don't think he's going to want seconds.