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You've passed out due to one to many root beers and your friends have taken the liberty of abusing your comatose body. Most of this abuse you wouldn't want to be awake for but fear not, there will lots of photos.
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Wed 26th Mar
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Partying is fine but unless you're partying hard there's really no point. It's like they always say: If you're not absolutely bombed then you might as well not exist. Everyone here knows that & follows that mantra to the letter.
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Thu 15th Aug
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It's enough to make you fear for future generations. Mothers seem to like to to put their kids in innapropriate sexual situations, dads love to get their kids acquanted with wild animals and guns. Why do some people breed?
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Tue 4th Nov
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If attractiveness was a mathematical equation then the amount of skin on display would be an all important ratio. That's why women look so much better when summer rolls around and they disrobe a bit.
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Fri 18th Jul
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It's nice to have a different view of the one we are usually used to, movie icons retouched to infinity, being cool on the big screen. Well instead of looking up to them we can now gaze down as they lay drunk in the gutter!
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Tue 1st Feb
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If you could rewrite state signs with your mind, this is what they might say or perhaps it you'd taken some truth hallucinogen so you saw signs as they should be, or perhaps someone just Photoshopped some signs for a laugh?
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Mon 7th Feb
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If you go down to the beach today you're sure of a BIG surprise! Ok, so maybe not a teddy bear's picnic, but something just as cute & cuddly that you'd kill to take to bed with you & hold.
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Wed 13th Apr
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Are you worried that you're a little bit on the untidy side? Really? Believe me, you're nothing compared to these people. If untidy was akin to a punch in the arm then these offenders would be standing trail for mass murder.
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Fri 27th Sep
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It's a part of life that everyone should embrace. When people are making out and someone takes a picture it's your duty to get in the back on that shot and pull a stupid face. If you don't you're letting society down.
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Fri 7th Dec
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Just remember, you will never give less of a f#ck than when you are a child. Kids are like little rock-stars who don't need drugs and alcohol when they trash the place and defecate on themselves, it's just who they are - Be afraid.
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Mon 8th Jul
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